This week I am a salty bastard. I shit all over slam which you will find out, I find to be tasteless and bland like these nasty shredded wheat bits my Fiancee got me when I was sick. Then I screw this dude named Troy from a PR company called Pure Deathcore in a gay way. So sit back and enjoy your Thursday evening with me!
Slam you say? You mean boring riffs and annoying vocals? Slam? Slam my head against my desk? Slam? Slam my legs into the air and jizz on my own face, because I’d rather do that than listen to another slam band with another lame name like “Ball Gag Rape Victim Cemetary Fuck Head 2” or “We are lazy and Gay so we came up with this in 2 minutes because our parents sheltered us from everything but now we know like 4 curse words so we started a band and we are also super alt right” Now Luke here does not have anything against your beliefs okay? You can literally write about anything you want. Freedom of Speech is something I support with all my heart. I am just saying you can do better. Be a little more original. If you want to be seen I would recommend not looking and sounding the same as every other slam band out there.
So this dude Troy from Pure Deathcore right. Well Pure Deathcore is supposed to be a Promo Company. The setup is simple. You pay Troy X amount of money, and he delivers X amount of promotion. Except here is this coolest part. First he talks about all the reach you’re gonna gain, and all the tools he will give to you to use in your quest of being heard. Solid right? Nah… Just kidding, he doesn’t do any of that… He just goes and for real buys meth, or some other form of hard drug. He does TELL you he will do that… But he won’t. So just beware of that my man. Just beware of the shriveling pathetic piss monster that is Pure Deathcore, and it’s evil master Troy. I mean shit… I hate slam, but I support any band that comes my way… FOR FREE!
Well thanks for joining us as usual. If you are a new time listener, please leave me a comment or send me a tweet with your thoughts on the show. I am always open to criticism and advice. You can check me out on pretty much any platform. Twitter, Facebook, Youtube. We will see you next week, and I look forward to talking with all of you!